Labrador retrievers are loyal, strong, intelligent, gentle, rugged—the Boy Scouts of the dog world. They are eager to plunge into icy rivers to retrieve wounded waterfowl, happy to trudge over acres of cropfield stubble to retrieve upland birds. They want to share everything you have: your family, your food, your bed, your hobbies. However, when his mother was sharing this family history with his puppy siblings, Bart had sneaked into the bathroom off the laundry room and kicked the door shut, so he could sleep in peace and quiet. And that is where we found him when we went to pick him up to bring him to our home. Now thirteen years old and 100 pounds, he looks like a gold and russet example of a perfect Labrador retriever. This is his story—the Diary of a Wimpy Dog.